How do you stop the cycle in your relationship? We have spent much time searching down the answer to this question. Never getting a clear and decisive answer to this question. What’s the cycle? The cycle of not asking for help with your marriage or relationship. When Jason and I, decided to get married our parents didn’t tell us a lot about marriage. They never really offered up much advice.
So why do you think that is? Why do you think that they didn’t give us advice about what marriage was. What it would entail, what we should and shouldn’t do?
To be honest, I don’t think they knew. But my dad was married, so why didn’t he pull you over and give you some advice? My only guess is that he did wanted to rain on our parade. And not that I would have listened or not have listened, but the point is, at least someone could have offered it. I think even when people at church, when I said I was getting married, no one said, well, maybe you should do counseling. And, and not blaming the church or anything. I’m just saying that there was a lot of tools out there prior to marriage that we just don’t take advantage of. Back in 1991 I don’t think that counseling was big thing back then.
Maybe we should go to counseling before we really need it and then it’s to late. Most people think that you have big problems and you are all messed up. Let me say this there is nothing wrong with speaking with someone if you all can’t come to an understanding.
Even if it’s small. I just think that. Therapy or counseling means that you have some serious issues that you can overcome. And that’s what people think. A lot of couples think we just had a couple of arguments. I don’t think the stuff is that bad.
So do I really need to, talk to somebody and I think that’s part of the problem. We don’t realize how big something is until we’re done. A year or two years down the road, or our relationship has changed and we’re just kind of living with the new situation. We find ourselves trying to fix problem by just pretending like it’s not there or just continuing on and not really resolving it.
You know? I used to tell you all the time that why do we brush things under the carpet instead of really facing them. why do we do that? Why are we not in marriages? Actually like, let’s pull the carpet up. Let’s really discuss this. Let’s talk about it. And less resolved and less letting go because when you don’t, if you accidentally bumped the carpet, you do something else and you accidentally bumped that carpet and then it flips up all at all.
Make your relationship better
Now’s the time to actually say, what can I do to contribute to my marriage and work on it now that your are here?
This is a great time to actually do some self work and then some relationship work, and that’s what I think we need to start with now. How can we start doing the work and seeking the help for our marriages that we weren’t doing before? Educate yourself by reading relationship books, join your church marriage ministry, take a course or by a program. Whatever you decide to do make sure you do something.
- When We Get Married For The Wrong Reasons
- His Needs Her Needs
- The 5 Love Languages
- The Scotts Story
- The importance of physical touch