This episode took us on a journey with Marlon and Carlissa (aka Lisa) Crawford as they talked about working through marriage the second time around with intentional love, purposeful conversation, and navigating unchartered waters with blended families. They shared with us their story on how they dealt with breaking down the communication barrier.
In addition, they shared what situations can be created when one partner decides to walk away or remain silent in an argument, and how it really does more harm than good. They dove even deeper in explaining to us how that approach can affect a marriage with lasting effects than can be disastrous.
Marlon talked about his views as a husband and what he saw as his role in the marriage. He discussed how love is great, but just not enough to carry a marriage forever. And why he believes that during the cycles of marriage we fall in and out of love.
While Lisa shared with us why it is important to be intentional and try new ways of loving and communicating. Not just in verbally, but all ways of communication within a marriage.
It was interesting to hear how their understanding of how to accept their spouse’s constructive criticisms took their marriage to a whole new level. How they received criticisms and the challenges they faced in making sure not to fall into the trap of feeling the need to retaliate or point fingers in return. This journey continued as they told us how they discussed and worked through each person’s short comings to come out on top.
Nevertheless, being able to effectively communicate to each other their personal needs, and how to conveyed, received, and applied those things in their marriage. They ended by adding, when you recognize each person’s needs in the marriage and make them important, it can give you a stronger relationship to build on.
Marlon also broke down the thermostat notion. What is the thermostat notion? It is when your marriage is either too hot, too cold, or when you have finally did the work to make it just right all the time. How to be in tune or aware when the thermostat is broken and how to adjust the temperature before it is too late. Being mindful of the signs and be willing to put in the due diligence for the betterment of your relationship.
They also candidly shared with us how they had to take ownership in the part they played they their past relationships. And how they grew from those past hurts and experiences to build the wonderful relationship they currently have today.
We all know there are no magic wands, quick fixes, nor “one size fits all” in working through and dealing with martial issues. But we can agree, that we can all learn from our own experiences, and from the experiences of others.
This conversation was not only enjoyable, but enlightening to say the least. Every marriage has its plus and minus, but knowing how to take those plus and minuses and turn them into wins, is priceless. And how making the conscious decision to be intentional, have continual communication, and learn to compromise can be the difference between having a successful marriage or NOT.
To sum it up is was the podcast recipe for “Marriage done right!”